Some martial artists are obsessed with fighting; they think about, dream about it, talk about it, write about it and think if you’re not actively ‘fighting’ every training session you 'ain’t a proper martial artist'… this  attitude I think is worthy of contemplation.

I personally agree with the need to challenge ourselves in allow for growth.  Growing up amongst martial artists and those who engage in physical pursuits has given me very strong sense of the type of personal growth that can be achieved when we challenge our perceptions, horizons and fears and the various methods we can employ to do this.  This experience has also shown me how insular and narrow minded we can become when we take on the wrong opponents and fight for the wrong reasons – in these cases instead of broadening our horizons we can actually isolate ourselves from the world and compound our fears.  So without direction and objective reasoning ‘fighting’ can take us to unhealthy places.

In truth I think ‘fight’ is the wrong word to use and a reason why some ‘fighters’ can’t see beyond the end of their noses.  Myself personally I’ve never really enjoyed fighting – it always seemed rather barbaric and uncouth and went against the grain of the dignified image of the martial artist I've had from a young age.  What I have always longed for is experience and the stimulation I get from entering the unknown.  My personality craves knowledge and wisdom; I like to know how something feels and how it interconnects with everything around it.  Trouble is that rehashing the same experience over and over for me soon loses its appeal, it gets boring and I need to go out and find something else to do to occupy my cravings with.  Without broadening my horizons I do not find anything to satisfy this need for stimulation… this quirk of character has blessed me with a very interesting life, both inside and outside of the martial arts.

Part of me can’t help but question if these so called ‘fighters’ are the ones we need to be looking to as role models – are they really the brave and the strong when they constantly engage in the same style of fight day after day, week after week, year after year?  How long do we engage in a ‘fight’ before it ceases to be a ‘fight’ for us?  After which what is the point of continually engaging said ‘fight’?  Will continually doing something we are comfortable with encourage growth?  The human ability to adapt and evolve leads me to think not.

As I said part of my character chases after experience and the martial arts have provided me with a wonderful means to satisfy this need.  When I moved up from the kids class into the adults class as a 9 stone dripping wet 15 year old I was battered every session, but after a while I learnt how not to take as many beatings.  At 16 I joined one of the toughest kick boxing camps I could find and started the process again.  A few years later still with a baby face and bum fluff on my chin I started working security at the nightclubs and had to adapt to that environment.  As a result of all of this experience my training stopped satisfying the cravings so I started my own group and we systematically worked our way through practically every style of fighting you can imagine, travelling, studying and ‘fighting’ with many different people, but again all of this soon became bland and easy and the growth almost ground to a halt.  And then I found shiatsu…

Starting shiatsu took me out of my comfort zone and put me in an environment outside of the world of fighters and martial artists – I started to associate with people who’d never had a fight in their life.  On my very first lesson we had to pair off and introduce our partners to the group once we’d found out a bit about their personal history.  My partner introduced himself, and this is the god’s honest truth, with, “….I’m currently on anti-depressants and having counselling after being abused and a victim of violence and have anxiety attacks because of it.” You should have seen the look of dread in his face when I replied, “My name is Gavin King and I’m a bouncer and a martial artist!”  I just didn’t know how to deal with people like him – I was an alien in this world and it scared the crap out of me.

In this world matters couldn’t be rectified simply by training harder and applying a bit of spite, but these were the only tools I had.  Everything in the martial arts had taught me that being fast and first won the day, but these things meant nothing to these people and I was defenceless and open.  And at first every comment hit home and caused me emotional distress – you’re tense, you’re anxious, you’re not being sensitive to your clients needs, etc, etc.  These were like battle cry’s to me… a voice inside me kept saying well let’s step onto the mat and see who’s anxious, who’s tense and there we’ll know the truth!  The thing I failed to realise is that this was their mat, so I made it mine.  Now I was back in the children’s class again and relishing the first real ‘fight’ I had in years.

Around about the same time I happened upon a lesson with Steve who systematically tore apart everything I was doing; my thinking, my movement, my aggression and showed me my glaring weaknesses.  I found a new fight, tai chi.  Having the mental fortitude to do 10 rounds all out on the bag for me was easy, full contact sparring wouldn’t even raise a earbrow, standing on the door in front of a thousand people became just a job… don’t get me wrong I still got knackered on the bag, got battered in sparring and felt the brown adrenaline on the door, but it wasn’t anything special after a while, it was something I could do.  Being able to do a 20 minute form continuously without the slightest pause in my movement still to this day eludes me – my mind flutters, my body tires and I just don’t have the skills to deliver the goods.  Tai chi is glorious for someone like me because it has no hiding places and there is no cheating - a bonafide unadulterated challenge!

You see it’s all good and well these people telling us to ‘fight’ but who are these guys actually  fighting?  What are they doing that is so special?  Most of those dishing out this advice haven’t even got the goods to be able to handle running their own lives, many are plagued with self doubt, are insecure, penniless, aggressive and to be honest are pretty undesirable people to be around.  These people don’t fight; instead they insulate themselves by cowering in the arenas they are comfortable in.  It’s not something to admire or even aspire to.  In one of my classes I have the pleasure of teaching a lady who has multiple sclerosis and has trouble simply standing let alone marching through a twenty minute form, but she still soldiers on.  That’s a real fighter; someone who steps up to the plate and takes on a real challenge.  For me she is a martial artist worthy of looking up to!

So I guess what I’m really saying is that if you’re going to be picking a fight, make sure it’s a good one!